This time

The lyrics of one of my favourite tracks by Jonathan Rhys Meyers.



Tonight the sky above

Reminds me how to love

Walking through wintertime, the stars all shine


The angel on the stairs

Will tell you I was there

Under the front porch light

On the mistery night


I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines

Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds

I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind

Would the wind be at my back

Could I get you off my mind

This time


The neon lights and bars

And headlights from the cars

Started a symphony surrounding me

The things I left behind

Have melted in my mind

And now there’s a purity inside of me


I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines

Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds

I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind

Would the wind be at my back

Could I get you off my mind

This time


I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines

Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds

I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind

Would the wind be at my back

Could I get you off my mind

This time

Twilight - The movie

I'd been just lazing around during the weekend when I decided to watch "Twilight". The movie was released long back, when work and other not-so-important things kept me from accessing it, I really regret not being able to go to the cinemas' then. Everything about the movie "invited me in", the story, screenplay, the background score. I'm a die-hard romantic and "Twilight" simply swept me off my feet! Moreover, I wouldn't mind falling for a vampire like that ;)

Here are some of my favourite lines:

At the restaurant, after Edward rescues Bella from the bad guys..
Bella - "Did you follow me?"
Edward- "I feel very protective of you."
Bella - "So you followed me."
Edward- "I was trying to keep a distance, unless you needed my help and then I hear what those low-lives were thinking..."
Bella - "Wait.. you said you heard what they were thinking?... So what? You read minds?"
Edward- "I can read every mind in this room apart from yours.Its very frustrating."
Bella - "Is there something wrong with me?"
Edward- "I told you I can read minds, I didn't say something's wrong with you!!", Sighs.
Bella - "What is it?"
Edward- "I don't have the strength, to stay away from you anymore."
Bella - "...Then don't..."


When Bella confronts Edward with the fact that he's a vampire...
Edward- "I can't read your mind. You should tell me what you're thinking."
Bella - "Now i'm afraid...."
Edward- "Good...", Sighs.
Bella - "I'm not afraid of you, i'm only afraid of losing you, what if you suddenly disappear..."
Edward- "You don't know how long i've waited for you...So a lion fell in love with a lamb"

Bella thinking aloud...
"About three things I was absolutely positive. First Edward was a vampire.Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be,that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."


At the hospital..
Edward- "You should go to Jacksonville..."
Bella - "What?!..."
Edward- "I can't hurt you anymore.."
Bella - "Nno.. no.. you... you can't say things like that to me ... ever.. !!"
Edward- Smiling and kissing Bella's forehead,"Where else would I go..."

Edward reminds me of someone I know really well. This post is dedicated to you.

Innocent or Guilty ?

Well well well, Hari's tagged me again...


Im tagging Nasir, Sharon and Mathuram with this... You can do the same to any number of people you want. I hope you guy's aren't mad at me for doing this !!

Rules : Answer as either "Innocent" or "Guilty".


Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Innocent.

Asked someone to marry you?
Guilty.


Ever told a lie?
Guilty.


Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back?
Guilty.


Kissed a picture?
Guilty.


Slept in until 5 PM?
Guilty.


Danced on a table in a bar?
Innocent.


Fallen asleep at work/school?
Guilty.


Been suspended from school?
Innocent.


Worked at a fast food restaurant?
Innocent.


Stolen from a store?
Innocent.


Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Guilty.


Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Innocent.


Kissed in the rain?
Innocent.


Sat on a roof top?
Guilty.


Sang in the shower?
Guilty.


Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Innocent.


Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
Innocent.


Shot a gun?
Innocent.


Donated Blood?
Innocent.


Eaten alligator meat?
Innocent.


Still love someone you shouldn't?
Innocent.


Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Guilty.


Been too honest?
Guilty.


Kissed someone you shouldn't?
Innocent.


Ruined a surprise?
Innocent.


Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk afterwards?
Innocent.


Erased someone in your friends list?
Guilty.


Dressed in a woman's clothes [if you're a guy] or guy's clothes [if you're a girl]?
Guilty.


Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
Guilty.


Had communication with your ex?
Innocent.


Got totally drunk on the night before your exam?
Innocent.


Cool list ain't it ? ;)

Been Tagged !!

My "lost and found" friend for 16 years has tagged me.

Hari .. I thank thee for tagging me and considering me one of thy worthy bloggers.

I hate filling in about me columns anywhere, in fact my own blog doesn't have one.

Anyway, a rule is a rule, so here goes
1. When I was four, I got whacked by my grandfather who strongly believed that kids shouldn't be beaten up, and had never ever hit "any" of his six children. Well, that's "the hell" I am.
2. Though I was attacked three times, I still love dogs, especially German Sheperds and Labradors, but maybe they don't like me :(
3. Playing in water is something that I simply can't resist.
4. To me crying in front of people is very embarrasing .
5. To all those people who thought I was a geek.. My favourite subject was English, not Science.
6. Hating people isn't easy for me, but for the unfortunate ones who get into my hate list, the process is irreversible.
7. I had wanted to become a model, but ended up being a Software Engineer!! What the hell!!
8. I actually find work interesting. I feel suffocated when I don't go to office.
9. When in trouble I refrain asking even my closest buddies for help. I don't know why.
10.At the end of the day, what I want is a little bit of care, understanding and someone who's there for me.

Hoof ! That was a tough job, I never think so much about myself.

I don't have seven people to pass the award to, but at least I have a few :)

Nasir
An amazing friend and collegemate who forgives me whenever I forget to call him.
Sharon
I got in touch with her after 15 years and realized we had a great deal to catch up with. A wonderful person I should say.
Mathuram
A colleague turned friend of mine who I think is simply awesome.
Jaya Madhavan
I know Jaya Madhavan as my boss's wife. I love the way she's so cheerful all the time. She's a National Award winning writer. I really don't know if i'm allowed to do this but hope she doesn't mind me tagging her :)

Now launching copy cat to replicate the rules...

Here are the 5 rules (to be strictly followed by those I tag in this post!)
1. Thank the person from whom you have received the award listing his / her blog link
2. List 10 honest things about yourself (like I shall do here)
3. Paste the ‘Honest Scrap’ logo on your blog (this is self-evident as my title for this post says)
4. Choose 7 other worthy bloggers and list their links (spread the joy)
5. Notify the bloggers of the award, requesting them to follow the rules (so that they will not miss to notice)

The LIC Demo

It was a hot sunday afternoon, as I stepped out of the Presidency College, I felt relieved that the exam was over and I could finally "Rest In Peace". The last two weeks at work had been very hectic. Our CEO had come down to Chennai from Norway and my office had been bustling with activity, we had been working for long hours. I worked even on Pongal, followed by a tiring trip to Madurai that weekend for a colleagues wedding, followed by slogging for a demo in Arabic the next week and an exam on Sunday morning. Thats quite a bit ain't it?



Well, the exam was ok and I waited for a bus with my friend. I was thinking over what I had written for descriptive answers and wondered how I could manage crap like that. Anyhow, the bus came and I got in. Not that i'm a pricess, but i'm not very used to buses and when I get into one I prefer standing near the entrance. This time too I did the same. At the entrance which I took, one door was closed and the other one open. I wondered why they made it so uncomfortable for passengers, why couldn't they simply keep both doors open? My friend and I spoke some nonsense for some time and then kept quiet as we were both tired.



I was lost in thoughts, when suddenly there was a jerk and I found myself cast on the closed door at the bus's entrance. My friend and another lady gripped my hand tightly and looked flabbergasted. I looked left, the other door was open. It didn't take me long to realize what could've happened. Strangely I didn't even have a scratch on me, I was absolutely fine, I laughed at myself. The other's didn't find it very funny, they felt sorry for me, how embarrasing it was!



An old gentleman told me,"Take care girl. We've read of so many accidents in the papers, you are so young". I smiled and assured him that I was fine, I did the same with ladies who seemed so worried. One young man then got up and offered me a seat. The guy who sat beside me instantly offered me a bottle of water and asked me if i'm fine.

"How was the exam?", he asked me with a warm smile.

I realized he too had attended the exam.
"It was ok", I replied.

"How were the quants?", he asked me.

"Oh yeah, they were tough", I replied.

"Whats your qualification? B.E. ?", he seemed to be interviewing me.

"Yes, you're right", I replied with a smile.

"Good", he said and took something out from his bag.

"This is my card, you can contact me in case you want something", he said and gave it to me.

 
I took a look at it, on it was printed
" P. Vijay, Life Insurance Corporation of India".

I haven't had a better demo of the LIC in my entire life, oh boy!!

Rendezvous with an African

"How soon can you join us?", asked the Managing Director of the company.
"When do you want me to join?", I questioned.
"How about next week?", he asked.
"Absolutely fine. No problem at all.", I said.
"Ok then, see you in Chennai next week.", he said and hung up.

Having left one of the most reputed software companies "royally", I was happy I found another job after a two-month long wait. I was reluctant to depend on anybody for money, even parents, but during this period I had forced myself to stay with an aunt at Mumbai, hoping to settle in Pune. Chennai wasn't even the last city on my list, as I had a strong aversion for the place. But now, here I was packing to leave for the city I dreaded the most.

"Have you joined a call-center?", my aunt enquired, unaware.
"No its a software company.", I replied.
"What about your accomodation?", she asked , sounding a little worried.
"Its taken care of.", I replied.
My last few days in Mumbai simply flew by and one morning I found myself on a flight to Chennai. I noticed I was on one of the worst airlines, it felt like as though I was in a 3-seater bus with good-looking girls attending, if it was a guy in my place, he would've found it interesting for obvious reasons. I wondered what more was in store for me. There weren't many people on the flight and I was glad the way it was, alas my happiness was short-lived. It so happened that a 40-something African appeared from somewhere.

"Hi , can I sit here?", he asked and smiled.
I nodded. He sat down and made himself comfortable. It was obvious he wanted to strike a conversation.
"So you going to Chennai for what?", he asked in his African accent.
"For work. Which country are you from?", I inquired.
"I'm from Nigeria. Goin to Chennai to sell software.", he replied.
I just smiled and took out a magazine to read.
"You are beautiful." , he said smiling.
"Thanks.", I retorted.

Now I knew why he wanted to sit next to me, a vague idea of what would follow disgusted me, so I decided to avoid him and tried to bury myself in the magazine. He sat quiet for a while. Now that I pretended to be busy, I was hoping he would get up and leave, but no, he wasn't. I took a secret look at him from the corner of my eye, he was smiling to himself, that sickened me even more and I quiclky looked back into the magazine.

"What are you reading?", he butted in.
"Zodiac signs.", I said,
"Ohhh, which one's your's?", he asked with a smile on his face.
"This one. Cancer.", I pointed out.
"Yeah? Mine's this one." , he said pointing to Sagittarius.
"Oh boy, how in the hell does all this matter to me?! Why can't he just shut up and get lost??", I thought.

Just then an airhostess asked us whether we'd like to have some sandwiches. He didn't want them. I asked her for two. At least he wouldn't expect me to talk while I ate. Before I could even reach my purse for cash, he pulled out a few 100 Naira's and a few 100 Rupee notes. Flinging them at the air hostess, he looked at me. "Wait, I pay for you. No problem.", he said with his annoying smile.
"No way!", I said and gave the airhostess, my money.
I ate the sandwiches as slowly as I could, to add to it, the bread was harder than my head! My plight!
I struggled with the sandwiches, when suddenly the African spoke again.
"I want to marry you", he said.

I spat the food involuntarily and looked at him aghast. I had known that this man wanted to flirt but I was not prepared for this. What is it with some men? I really don't get it, this 40-something African had decided within 30 minutes that he wanted to marry 22 year old me. I was too shocked to say anything.

"I am looking for an Indian girl. I have been looking for someone like you.", he said.
I couldn't believe I was in such a pathetic scene. I looked at him with my eyes stuck in the "shocked" state.
He continued, "See, if we both marry, our kids will get three nationalities by birth, First - Nigerian, Second -Indian, Third - The place we live. You decide that place." This was too much for me to take. I hadn't and couldn't imagine myself getting married to a 40-something African.
"I am not interested. Sorry.", I managed to say.
"But why?", he questioned looking at me like a puppy dog deprived of food.
"Because I'm engaged.", I lied, there was no other way to get rid of him.
He looked very disappointed. His enthusiastic voice was reduced to a mumble,"Oh, I see. Can we be friends at least?" He was in no mood to give up, was he?
Thankfully, the flight had landed.

He again spoke, "Can you give me your email?"
"I don't have one yet. You give me yours i'll email you.", I lied again.
He took out his business card flipped it and wrote down a number on it which looked like an Indian phone number.
"This is my card, it has my number in Nigeria and this one is my friend's number in Chennai. He's an actor.", he said trying to linger on.
"Yeah ok.", I said, trying to get up.
"Don't you have a phone?", he inquired.
"No I don't have one.", I lied again.
"But I saw you put a mobile phone in your bag.", he said.
He had noticed that too, I had put my phone into my bag at the Mumbai airport. He had been watching me all the while. It scared me.
"Oh yes, thats my old phone which i'll be changing soon, so there's no point giving you that number. I'll call you on your friend's number", I lied and fake-smiled.
"Ok then, don't forget to call me.", he said sounding desperate.


A few hours later I was reclining in my room, that had been arranged for by the company that had just recruited me. It felt like heaven. I pondered over the flight travel, it was good riddance, or maybe that was the best I could do. I was now an independent girl in an unfamiliar city, with a lot of new hopes and dreams of shaping a great career. The thought of it brought me immense joy and I drifted off to sleep.


P. S.
---------
This post is just the beginning of a story that I am yet to write, my portrayal of Chennai is just an opinion and is not intended to degrade the place or hurt anybody's sentiments.

Mother

The world has so many , yet each one so unique.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The train had arrived, I boarded the AC compartment and nervously followed my friend, Aryan, towards the seats. His mother lay there wrapped up in blankets and carefully placed pillows, his dad sat next to her wearing a worried expression.

"Namaste aunty", I said.
She smiled sweetly and asked, "How did you manage to reach?"
"No problem aunty, I just took an auto", I lied and wondered how she could be bothered about anyone else amidst so much pain and discomfort. My heart went out to her. Aryan's mom had been diagonized with tubercolosis of the spinal cord and was referred to Christian Medical College - Vellore for further treatment.

The train started moving, aunty's condition worsened as we approached Katpadi. She had started puking because the pain was unbearable. After about two hours we arrived at the junction and were soon on our way to the hospital in an ambulance. At 7.00 AM, the ambulance arrived at the hospital, we pulled aunty's stretcher outside and rushed her to the casualty, while uncle waited outside with the luggage. A rude looking staff asked us to wait in queue. I used my Tamil speaking skills and asked the lady to admit her, she told us that a doctor would come and examine aunty after which she could be admitted.

"Don't worry aunty, just try and relax", I said.
"I'm feeling very tired", she murmured.
I wondered what took the doctor so long . When I asked the lady once again she screamt at me asking me to wait. We had already waited four hours outside without even first aid. Aunty was exhausted and she had been sleeping. Aryan waved his hand asking me to come out. He asked me to rest, while he would attend to his mom. Even before he could get to his mom, a stout young man with a stethoscope appeared, he quickly asked aunty something and hurried back into the casualty. Following that an attendant also appeared and said somethin to Aryan.

We then rushed aunty to the Department of Neurosurgery, the attendant had said that casualty won't admit a patient who belonged to the department of Nuerosurgery. For the next two hours we were shuttled between the Casualty and Neurosurgery, it finally ended with a letter to the Casualty from one Dr. Rinku of Neurosurgery, saying aunty had "life threatening diarrhoea" and that she must be admitted in the Casualty. On seeing the letter , the stout young man at Casualty literally blew his top. His words still ring in my ears...

"This is CMC Vellore! Not just any local hospital! What do you mean by life threatening diarrhoea?! How dare you bring me such a letter! I refuse you treat your mother! Who do you think you are?!"

After an eight hour long wait, this is what we got from one of the most prestigious hospitals in India. Fearing that complaining wasn't a good idea at that moment, we waited for some more time. Finally the Devil himself admitted aunty and began treatment. I learned his name was Dr. Vishal. After that the series of tests began and it was time for me to leave. From the time I had seen aunty , I had developed some sort of an affection for her which made tears roll out of my eyes involuntarily.

"I'm leaving now aunty, I'll be back to see you next week. Take care.", I said .
I could see tears in her eyes too. She hugged me and said ," You are nothing less than a daughter for me." She placed a kiss on my forehead and sent me off. It turned out after a few days that she too had fallen prey to cancer. She remained at the hospital for a couple of months and passed away on a quiet sunday morning. This lady had accepted me -a stranger as her child. Her unfathomable love had touched me, I still miss her badly. I regret her time with me was too short , at the same time I thank God for making me capable of serving someone.

As for Dr. Vishal... Karma always get back, he can run from it but can never hide. Someday he will pay for it.